Sunday, May 28, 2017

ADDICTION and ISOLATION: Late stages of ADDICTION. Robert Frank Mittiga Recovery Coach

Addiction a progressive disease!

For many, isolation is one of the end results of addiction. What was once a fun and sociable part of life turns into quite the opposite experience.  In the fun stage of alcohol or drug use, we often like to be around others—that is, others who like to get high. Substance use often begins with laughter, parties, and hanging out with a group of people. Some people stay in this stage of use, control their drinking, and later go on to lead a responsible life. Others, like me, continue to use more and more.

Drinking Alone
One of the signs of addiction is that the person starts getting high alone. Drinking or using before going out partying is part of the addiction process—as is getting high at any time of the day or night. Drinking, taking pills, or smoking dope first thing in the morning may become the norm.

Why is this? The drug has now become the primary focus of their life.

At this stage, many addicts will become suspicious and paranoid. Straight people (nonusers) are more difficult for the addict to communicate with. They are potential roadblocks to the person’s ability to use.  At this point of addiction, you can usually count remaining friends on one hand. Often just other addicted individuals.

Once the addiction becomes primary, a dependent person’s life is preoccupied with using. He/she spends valuable time and energy planning their day, so as to make sure they will be able to have access to their needed amount of drugs or alcohol. Substance use has overcome the person’s life and it is nearly impossible to hide it.

Covering Up

Virtually everything in the person’s life can become secondary—friendships, family relationships, children, sex, jobs, personal hygiene, eating—you name it. At first the person may go out of their way to overcompensate. When they realise that this main focus of their lives is threatening other areas, in an attempt to have it all, they may try to maintain a perfect image to prove to those close to them that they don’t have a problem. The addict may stay late at work, have people over to dinner, keep a perfectly clean house, and in general try to portray an ideal image. At the same time, they are secretly trying to manage their addiction in isolation. This is referred to as “high functioning.”

As the addiction progresses, trying to prove that they are normal becomes more and more difficult, and eventually the addiction completely takes over. This explains why an addicted parent may eventually be forced to give up their child to a relative or social services. People who have lived through this staggering experience know that it’s not about love—these parents do love their spouses, family, and children—it’s about addiction. The addiction takes hold and consumes their very lives. This is very difficult for any family member or friend to understand, unless they have personally been through it.

Our society seems to believe that it is far worse for a mother to leave her family, but in reality the situation is devastating either way.

When to Intervene

When addiction overtakes a person’s life, and fun has become a distant memory, this is a good time for an effective intervention. When a user starts to lose things in their life that they truly used to care about, they may not know how to turn things around. They might feel helpless, and stop believing it’s possible to make life matter again. In this situation, the best thing for your addicted friend or loved one is to talk to someone who has been there. They will often say that they don’t want treatment. I’ve heard it said that “Treatment won’t work unless a person wants it.” This is not true, a professional intervention can change this mind set.

If you or someone you love is in the grips of addiction please reach out. 

If you identify with the above we can help, call us today as we can provide many options which can be tailored specifically for the individual and their loved ones.

IN AUSTRALIA CALL 0439 399 809 or EMAIL also have the means to come to you in several countries. Please feel free to enquire. International number +610439 399 809

Tuesday, May 2, 2017



Part of my own journey toward change has involved recognizing that the power to change lies within myself, and I can’t place blame on any other person for what I choose to do with my life or choose not to do with my life. That being said, my own experience has also shown that the people I surround myself with play a major role in supporting me in my desire to change, accepting the person that I am or dragging me back toward the person that I used to be.

The types of people you may have to clean out of your lives if you want to move forward in a positive direction. Keep in mind that some difficult relationships and some challenging relationships are well worth keeping. Its the toxic relationships are the ones we need to clean out which are characterized by the following;

* Toxic relationships take heavily from us without giving anything back.
* Toxic relationships sap our joy as well as our mental and emotional energy.
* Toxic relationships represent people who are hateful, hurtful, critical and discouraging the
   vast majority of the time you are around them.
* Toxic relationships constantly leave you feeling empty, guilty, incompetent and ashamed
* Toxic relationships represent people who are verbally and emotionally abusive to you.
* Toxic relationships bring out the absolute worst in you.

Standing up to the people who are pouring negativity venom into your mind is a difficult thing. After all, many toxic individuals have mastered the art of manipulation and have ways of turning the situation around on you and heaping guilt on you when you confront them about their behavior. Patrick Mathieu said it well in this Using Mind Control With Difficult People when he provided an interesting twist on the old “insanity” line. He wrote: “Insanity is dealing with the same person over and over again and expecting them to act differently this time.” Confronting the person and making ultimatums again and again can only do so much.

Just because you have decided you want a change in your life, doesn’t mean the people represented in toxic relationships do too. You may have to close yourself off to these people to heal yourself from past wounds and proceed with the changes you want to see in your life. This might involve ignoring phone calls, deleting friends off social networks, blocking e-mails, breaking up, going separate ways or even moving out.

On some occasions, toxic relationships also represent people who tempt you back into destructive habits. For instance, if you are a recovering alcoholic and have a pack of friends who completely disregard your need to stay clean and continue to urge you to throw the brews back with them every weekend, these would be considered toxic relationships. You may have to separate yourself from these people, at least temporarily, until you are strong enough or have a personal breakthrough.

If you are experiencing these problems please make sure you reach out to your recovery sponsors, aftercare or alumni freinds, or seek out a suitable recovery coach..

If you or someone you love is in the grips of addiction call us today for a confidential assessment. CALL US TODAY PH 0439 399 809 OR EMAIL